Is there ever a point in life when you stop worring about what others will think and feel, and make yourself happy? I've always been told think for yourself and make my own decisions. Honestly, that is the best thing anyone could do, but then again you also have to think about the people around you, and what could happen to them or what could happen to your relationship with them. I guess its just human nature, or maybe my own, to evaluate the whole situation and the effects on others before thinking of myself. I'm not one hundred percent sure thats a positive or negitive qualitiy. I'm begining to belive that there is something in my life completely true and pure. However there is also a side belive that the same thing is wrong and a game, something to not even worth a thought. I'm not sure which way to go. I don't want to miss out on this kind of oppertunity. I always meet people who have to ask the question what if this happend or what if that happend....and either way i guess im going to wonder. Give up or try?

wrote something.

I'll be sitting here waiting
watching the change in the trees
wondering what true love will bring
waiting for a chill in the breeze
or for the phone to ring

in the fall
i will fall for you
all over again
in the fall
i will fall for you
only for you

Maybe one day we'll see
and the time will come
we'll figure out if were ment to be
true love shouldnt end like this
without one last kiss

in the fall
i will fall for you
all over again
in the fall
i will fall for you
only for you

as the sun sets everynight
i crawl in my bed without you
wishing you were still holding me tight
i fall asleep gazing at the stars
wondering if your gazing too

in the fall
i will fall for you
all over again
in the fall
i will fall for you
only for you

my heart is bruised and my eyes have lost their color
from thinking of you dreaming of you
and maybe...one day i wont have to sleep, or dream,
only to wake up next to you

in the fall
i will fall for you
all over again
in the fall
i will fall for you
only for you

Lying all alone, wishing you would call.
Writing all my thoughts has broken all my bones.
You gave it all up, you threw it all away.
There's nothing I can do.

What do I think you've done?
You know it's even worse than what's in my head.
You don't believe me when I tell you:
I don't want to be a fraud and pretend that everything's fine.
I won't be here when you get home.
I'm not gonna sit here and die.

I'll follow through again this time.
I'll swallow swords, spit out my pride.
I'll be just fine.

You read me like a book.
You know I'm running out of legs to stand on.
I won't believe you when you tell me:
These old habits die so hard,
There's not intervention in sight.
There's no point in calling you.
We're just gonna stand here and fight.

I'll follow through again this time.
I'll swallow swords, spit out my pride.
I'll be just fine.
You fill my head with endless lies.
You're killing me, I'm killing time.
I'll be just fine.

So maybe one day the pain will go away.
And I will see your face,
I won't even care.
I'm changing all the locks cause I can't change you.

I'll follow through again this time.
I'll swallow swords, spit out my pride.
I'll be just fine.
You fill my head with endless lies.
You're killing me, I'm killing time.
I'll be just fine.

    Baby..
I just wanted to tell you
how much i love you.
I dont think i could ever explain
how much you mean to me.
I know the distance is hard,
but it an obstical in our relationship
that im willing to over come.
Everything is finally comeing together.
It really excites me, that in a little bit
i'll be living down there.
I have never wanted anything more then
to be with you.
I cant wait to be able to have
a slumber party and wake up
next to you.
I know that im going to
be wit you for the rest of my life.
We've come so far,
im not going to give up.

Happy Valentines Day.
I love you.

<3Sonya Kaye